You’re Always Busy

“You’re always busy.”

It was 830pm; I had my nose in my phone answering an email from a client.  My 12 year old daughter needed to ask me something…

“I’m busy.”

As she turned and walked out of the room, her defeated response, “You’re always busy”, cut like a knife; it made me take a long look at myself.  Had I become that dad?  The one who was unavailable?  The one who put work above family?

Above all the reasons I started this business, number one was that I started it so that I could have more freedom to spend time with family.  That was the intention…but the opposite has happened. In my efforts to get this business off the ground it has become nearly all consuming, and the ones who suffer are my kids and wife.  A person only has  100% to give, and if I have been giving 99% to the business, that doesn’t leave much for anyone else. What was the reason I started this business again?

Earlier, in my life as blogger, one of the topics I focused on was being a good dad.  Being available. Certainly it was well known that my biggest pet peeve was hearing of dads who would work 12 hours a day and then go to church council meetings, coa, bible studies, and never be home, never see their kids. Those stories of moms who were effectively single parents because dad was never home, always working or doing Churchy things, really irked me.

So I wonder…have I become that dad?

Well, no…I don’t have time for “Churchy” things…LOL…sigh.

About 6 years ago, I wrote this and it really hit home today:

Read me a book dad…“I’m busy.”

Play with me dad…“I am too tired…”

Teach me to ride a bike dad…“Not now.”

Play a game with me dad…“Tomorrow.”

Push me on the swing dad… “Maybe another time.”

Can I tell you about school dad…“Leave me alone.”

Can you help me with my homework…“Go ask your mom.”

I am excited for our date on Friday dad…“I have to work late.”

I get it, trust me.  I do it too.  Sometimes I just want to crash on the couch and tell my girls to get out of the room.  But do you know what your child hears when you never say “OK?”  When you rarely show affection?  When you rarely give them the time of day?

“You are not worth my time.”

“You are bothering me.”

“You are a pest.”

I…

Don’t…

Love…

YOU.

If Daddy is always doing something and if he can’t ever be interrupted that sends a very clear message to the child. Perhaps we do not mean it…but whether daddy means it or not, the child will perceive it as, “I don’t have time for you, I don’t love you.”

So, its thanksgiving.  That means it is time to take stock of all the blessings in my life.  What is most important to me?  My heart says my family. My actions, over the past year, clearly say the business.

Since that day we have implemented some systems into the business –  customer relationship management software and other things that have helped to free up my evenings.  I have to learn to shut it off in the evening, tell my clients, “no.” I still work long hours, but we have actually had family dinners and devotions this past week, and hey – I had time to write a blog post this morning before they got up.

I am still busy.  But perhaps that little wake up call will help me remember why I started this business.