One Christian Dad

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It’s Better to Use Porn Than Cheat on My Wife…

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It is no secret that porn use is rampant in the Church.  Estimates are between 50-70% of Christian men use it daily. The effects of chronic porn use, or porn addiction, on the brain are catastrophic. The effects are detrimental to families, to congregations, and to individuals. It is the new drug of choice and is easily accessible.

One of the saddest  things I have ever heard is this, “It is better for me to use porn than cheat on my wife.” I hear this in one form or another on a fairly consistent basis. And each time I do it breaks my heart. What a deception of the devil!  How is it that he has deceived so many Christian men into thinking that they are not cheating.  Now it may be “better” than visiting a prostitute, but it is not “good,” and in fact is cheating on a spouse.

Frankly, if you are using pornography you are committing adultery.

 over at Covenant Eyes has posted a 5000 word summary of his masters thesis on the topic of pornography as grounds for divorce. Read the full article here. I found it to be a fascinating and scripturally-sound read.  In it he states,

“The pornography industry is the entertainment wing of prostitution, just as the dancing girls of the brothels (the porneia) in the Roman Empire were the sources of entertainment for Roman nobility.

An analogy might bring some clarity to the question. At what point in the following series of scenarios does someone cease to be guilty of porneia?

  • Scenario #1: A man openly, habitually, and unrepentantly frequents prostitutes to have sex with them (clearly porneia).
  • Scenario #2: A man openly, habitually, and unrepentantly visits homes where prostitution is taking place, but instead of having sex with them, he immerses himself in the sex-saturated environment, watching the orgies, so he can masturbate in front of them.
  • Scenario #3: A man openly, habitually, and unrepentantly connects to prostitutes online to watch live-stream videos of them having sex with others while he masturbates.
  • Scenario #4: A man openly, habitually, and unrepentantly watches recorded videos of prostitutes having sex with others while he masturbates.
  • Scenario #5: A man openly, habitually, and unrepentantly watches the same videos as scenario #4, but the women don’t call themselves prostitutes. They call themselves “porn stars.”

Drawing a hard line is no easy task. The change of physical proximity, timing, or labeling of the participants does not change the fact that in each scenario the man is seeking the services of prostituted women to immerse himself in a world of licentiousness.”

Where do you think the line is? Regardless of whether it is grounds for divorce, porn use is definitely a form of adultery.

Now I am not here to heap even more guilt and shame on those who use porn.

If you are just testing the waters of Porn, stop and go back!  Turn to Jesus! If it is just an occasional recreation for you. STOP! Repent. Confess.  And turn to Christ! But if you are one who is trapped, if porn is your unbeatable Goliath, if you are addicted to Porn, there are resources available.  Do not stay silent.  Do not live in guilt and shame.  Do not isolate yourself. Stop telling yourself that you are strong enough to overcome it.  You are not. Only Christ is, so seek him and seek help. Surround yourself with people who will come beside you and encourage and support you, who will disciple you and ask the hard questions.

Guys, it is time to stop justifying porn use by saying it is better than sleeping with someone. It is time to cut it off and pluck it out.

**If you have no idea where to turn, or if you are too ashamed to go to seek help from those you know, message me anonymously here, and I will be more than happy to send you some resources.**

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