I Can’t Believe She Gossips So Much…
“I can’t believe she gossips so much, we should pray for her. “
Did you really just say that? That sentence was the epitome of gossip for me. Can you relate to that? Do you gossip? Have you been the victim of Gossip? I used to gossip a lot.
I hate gossip.
I strive to avoid it in my own life and I will call you on it or at least attempt to make you think about what you are doing – if you are gossiping in my presence that is. I am not trying to be holier than thou. I am not trying to appear pious. I have seen the damage my words have caused to others. I have seen the damage your words have caused to me. So before you tell me something juicy about someone, allow me to emphatically state:
I don’t care who got so drunk …
or who was seen driving with whom…
or who failed what…
or who cheated on who…
or who broke what commandment…
or who watched what movie…
or who went to what bar…
or who was seen doing what…
or who fell from grace.
Now…Let me clarify. It is not that I don’t care, I do care. But we are to care about our brother’s soul, not so much about his sin. So if you care about his soul, you should follow Matthew 18 and admonish him with regard to his sin… not talk about him and his sin to others. That includes talking to your elder or the pastor. And can I just say something here? If you preface your gossip with “We should pray for so and-so…” or “I am so concerned about so and so…” and then you spill the beans of what “so and so” did or did not do…you are still GOSSIPING!
This is where I make my stern and angry face…
…and emphatically state that gossip is a sin. It is a sin that poisons the church. It ruins individuals. It ruins marriages. It ruins friendships and ministries and congregations and small groups and bible studies and families…and worst of all…it grieves God.
DO NOT GOSSIP! Don’t do it. Avoid it. Hate it. Stop it. Stand against it.
I do not care if it is true. You should not repeat it. You should not listen to it…
If you hear it and do nothing to stop it, you are just as guilty as the one gossiping…Mathew 18 tells us to admonish one another if we are aware of his sin. Do we do this? Discipline starts with brothers and sisters who love each other.
Ephesians 5:11 tells us:
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.
So, in light of this verse, do you gossip? Did you know that it is a fruitless deed of darkness? You don’t Gossip? Great! I am so happy that you are not having anything to do with it…now…are you exposing it? It is not enough to simply avoid darkness, we must expose it. And this includes gossip. Shine the light of Jesus, expose it in the lives of your brothers and sisters. But do it out of love and concern… not so you can gossip about it! Got it? Good. Ok.
To end I am going to quote
Charles Spurgeon:
Would it not be a great degradation of your [pastoral] office if you were to keep an army of spies in your pay to collect information as to all that your people said of you?
And yet it amounts to this if you allow certain busybodies to bring you all the gossip of the place.
Drive the creatures away. Abhor those mischief-making, tattling handmaidens to strife.
Those who will fetch will carry, and no doubt the gossips go from your house and report every observation which falls from your lips, with plenty of garnishing of their own.
Remember that, as the receiver is as bad as the thief, so the hearer of scandal is a sharer in the guilt of it.
If there were no listening ears there would be no talebearing tongues.
While you are a buyer of ill wares the demand will create the supply, and the factories of falsehoood will be working full time.
No one wishes to become a creator of lies, and yet he who hears slanders with pleasure and believes them with readiness will hatch many a brood into active life.
—Charles Spurgeon, Lectures to My Students, p. 328.
Another superb post. !!
Very thoughtful. Would there be anyone now who thinks, “What will we talk about now, when we visit”. Or maybe, “Thanks Ryan, you’re a great conversation stopper”!
I am so with you on this.
Thanks Cindy!
Actually not many people gossip around me anymore…so perhaps they are conscious of it around me…I just hope that they are killing gossip in all situations – not just around me 🙂 I would hate to be the guy who kills conversations, unless they are gossipy conversations, then I am happy to do so! Thanks Henry!