Christian Hubby’s Performance Evaluation
Men, I have a question for you. Imagine if you will that today you received an annual review of your job performance at work. How would you do? I am sure most of you would get decent marks and some good comments: On time, friendly, hardworking, reliable and so on.
Now I want you to imagine that today you are receiving an annual review of your role as Head of the Home. Does that prospect scare you? How do you think you would fare? Do you think you are doing ok? How would you do in categories like: Leads the Family in Worship. Leads wife in devotions. Teaches kids to pray. Availability to children. Availability to wife… Would you score good marks? Or would there be a bunch of comments about you being Lazy or passive or indifferent… irresponsible?
For most of us, if we treated our employers or vocation with the kind of indifference we treated our families with we would be looking for another job very quickly. Men, it is time for a radical change in attitude and behavior towards our families. If we can’t get away with being lazy at work, why would we think it is okay at home? The sad reality is that many Christian men are willing to work very hard at their jobs and in their pursuit of leisure, yet most of us also act like irresponsible teenagers avoiding our responsibilities toward our families. We would rather crack a beer and watch the hockey game than lead our families to the foot of the cross.
So I want you to take a moment and honestly rate yourselves on the following list. Give yourself a mark from 1-10.
1. Attends the weekly worship services and ensures the entire family is present.
2. Leads the Family in Daily Worship (Worship includes: Daily Bible reading and instruction, prayer, and singing praise with the family)
3. Leads wife in devotions. (Daily Couples Bible reading and Prayer)
4. Has personal devotions. (personal bible reading and prayer)
5. Teaches kids to pray according to scripture.
6. Ability to avoid arguments. Non-confrontational.
7. Ability to avoid being self-centered and controlling. Teaches family to put others above themselves.
8. Able to control anger.
9. Available to children. (Spends time talking with kids and participating with the kids interests, engages kids at their level)
10. Available to wife. (Spends time talking to his wife, engages in her interests, recognizes when something is bothering her, supports and encourages her.)
11. Romantically available. ( how often do you kiss your wife outside of the bedroom? How often do you cook dinner? Buy a rose? Tell her you love her? Etc.
12. Has a work ethic. (Provides financially for the family, completes tasks around the home, and in the church. Views all opportunity as from God and teaches family in these things.)
13. Stewardship of finances. (Not a lover of money, tithes regularly, does not waste money on worldly things, does not have a lot of debt, trains his family in proper stewardship.)
14. Stewardship of his talents and abilities. (Uses and cultivates his abilities to God’s glory and his neighbours benefit, is an example to his family of these things.)
15. Activity in the body of Christ. (Lives a life of thankfulness for salvation, is active in the body of Christ and in sharing the gospel, teaches his family to live a life of thankfulness.)
There are so many other points we could touch on, but for simplicity and this performance evaluation we’ll stop there. Once you have rated yourself on these things, take a look at how you did. Are you satisfied? Can you improve? Now for the scary part….have your wives rate you on the same things… You may find the results sobering. So, are you comfortable asking your wife to rate your performance? After asking her to rate you, and seeing where you need to improve, if you have the guts, come back and comment on this post with her ratings and we can discuss what you found out, and how we need to improve. I will do it as well. I know that I am not great at all these things, but it will be interesting to find out what my wife thinks. Ladies, if your husband doesn’t read this blog, you can rate your husbands and let him know how he fared…but I wouldn’t post the results here unless he says it’s ok!! 🙂
Great post for self reflection, however, asking wives to evaluate the husband I would not agree with. Why? because the husband is the head of the home and the wife must be submissive. I do not think evaluating their husbands on his successes or failures in this is being submissive. So may I suggest husbands evaluate yourselves in the light of the Word, where see yourself falling short pray for help ask for help from your Pastor or someone else you trust and respect in the Church Family, perhaps you could ask your wife to pray for you where you find yourself weak. Wives if you do this evaluation and see where your husband is weak, be submissive still and pray for him.
Perhaps Garrett is missing the point. A husband who is weak in the points raised in the post is typically also not the type who is good at self-evaluation. He is passive, and quite willing to continue without major changes on his part. It takes someone else to point these things out to him, and preferably someone who loves him enough to be kind about it. Pointing out a husband’s weaknesses to him is not being un-submissive, it’s her duty, as she has also vowed to respect him. For how can she respect a husband who is lacking in self-respect?