Flashing Caterpillars and Daddy Time.

“Daddy! Come! Come dark!”  Says, my 2 year old.  “Come!” I just sat down. She takes my hand, and tugs me too my feet and leads me to her room, which is pitch black.  I turn on the light and she says, “NO!”  And promptly turns the light off again.  Then all of a sudden, I hear a 6 year old giggling and a blinking light “magically” appears and begins “flying” around room and the 2 year old squeals with joy and says, “Daddy! A star!”  For the next 30 minutes or so we play with these squishy, flashing, flickering, caterpillar things that Grandma bought them.  We tell silly jokes and simply sit there on the bed playing with these weird squishy toys.

As parents, we often try to schedule time with our kids.  I love Daddy dates, and I treasure them.  I love big family outings to the fair, the park or the beach…and so do my kids.  But our kids don’t need Daddy dates.  They don’t need family outings.   What our kids simply, but truly, need is our time. They need you to give them the time of day. Your time of day.  What they need is our daily undivided attention.

As a working dad, I only see my kids for a couple hours per day in the evenings.  Usually I am tired and so are the kids.  But should I waste that short time “vegging” on the couch or mowing the lawn or fixing a chair?  When my 2 year old comes up to me after a long day of packing heavy things around, climbing ladders, getting dirty, and sweaty the first thing I want to say is leave me alone or go play with your sister.  And sometimes I do say that.  But what we need to realize is our time with them is so short.  2 hours per night, and then they are grown.  Make the most of it.

Daddy is the disciplinarian; daddy is their refuge, their protector.  Daddy is the strong one, and usually the “mean” one.  But when Daddy gets down to their level, and meets them where they are (with squishy flickering caterpillars or not) they will remember that.  They won’t likely remember the caterpillars, but what they will remember is that they had a daddy who not only disciplined them, but who also stooped to their level, who made them laugh, who was always there for them, who always had an open ear, open arms, and an open heart.

I will leave you with this quote from Mark Driscoll:

One of the lies that has been promulgated is that you don’t need quantity time with your children, you need what? Quality time. Here’s the truth: You don’t know when the quality time is going to come, when their heart’s going to open up, when a situation arises, when they need you. You just don’t know. So you can’t say, “Well, on Tuesday from 3 to 4 p.m., we’re going to have deep, heartfelt conversation.” Alright, you don’t know, so you need to be there a lot, need to be available and attentive. And then when their little heart opens up, love and serve, encourage, instruct, correct, whatever is needed at the moment. …