When Was the Last Time You Encouraged Your Wife?

Men, I am going to ask four questions.  I don’t need to know your answers, but I would like you to think about what your answers are. I just asked myself these questions and I have to do it every couple of weeks because, I admit, that I am judgemental by nature, and I tend to shoot off my mouth without thinking. That statement may shock some people who do not know me to be judgemental or thoughtless, and the only reason I am able to control these sins I struggle with is through prayer, devotion and relying solely on the strength which Christ provides.  I digress. Now to the questions:

1.       How often do you use words to “put down” your wife?

2.       How often do you encourage your wife?

3.       Which do you do more often?

4.       When was the last time you encouraged your wife?

Let me give you scenario that may or may not have happened last week when I came home. Ahem…

You walk in the door from work, tired from climbing up ladders all day and you hear the kids screaming…you let out a silent sigh and kick off your boots. Then you slowly make your way upstairs and see dirty dishes in the sink, a couple of juice stains on the counter, fish crackers on the floor, a pile of unfolded laundry on the chair, toys everywhere, and then you look at your wife who smiles at you and the first thing out of your mouth is…  “You were home all day…what exactly did you do today?” Yeah, I know, that was not very sensitive…I have no idea what happened that day- were the kids sick, was she feeling under the weather?  Maybe she just did not feel like doing anything…regardless of the reasons, my response is unacceptable!  Hence the reason I ask myself these questions every couple of weeks.  Typically, she is the epitome of the wife of noble character found in Proverbs 31. Oh by the way – this is also a prime example of why I am not the perfect husband!

A lot of us have wives who are stay at home moms, who have very little social interaction outside of Church on Sunday and Tuesday morning bible study – oh and grocery shopping and Facebook. So, men, you are the only source of encouragement she will receive on a daily basis. Think about that for a minute.

If we turn to Proverbs 31 and read about the wife of noble character, we can read in verses 28-29:

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Hmm.  Interesting, isn’t it? Her husband praises her. Men let me make this perfectly clear.  Regardless of whether your wife is a stay at home mom or if she is working, we are able as husbands to minister to our wives in a way that no one else can. Being one body your words will either build her up or tear her down. Not only are we able to, we are expected to, by God to minister to our wives in a loving and encouraging way.  Imagine if Christ did not encourage his bride?

Eph. 5:25 says:

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

As I write this, I think, there are so many ways I could have handled that scenario that would have encouraged her and lifted her up.  Instead I cut into her and brought her down.  How about you men? How do you handle these things?  Let us bear witness to our faith in Christ, by emulating his love for us by directing the same unconditional love and encouragement to our wives.   Psalm 1 tells us that a man who meditates on the law of the lord day and night is like a tree planted by streams of water, who yields its fruit in season and the Lord will watch over his ways (that is my paraphrase).

With our loving encouragement our wives will flourish.

So…how do you treat your wife? How often do you lovingly encourage her?