Monday Men Part 2: Lead your wife with love, dignity and respect.

Every Monday evening I will post a short article on what it means to be a Christian Husband and Father.  Last Monday I posted a blog entitled “Christian husbands are called to lead…What does that mean?”  Which touched briefly on the topic of male headship in Christ.  Now I want to expand on this topic.  I have not been a good leader in the past, and I am learning still.  But I have learned a lot in the past number of years and will pass on what I have learned.

You, men, yes YOU, are to lead your family, as I am to lead mine.  If you aspire to lead your family in a way that is faithful to Scripture, you will study the way Christ loved his bride (the church) and you will seek to imitate your Savior in this.  In order to lead your family you need to be first led by Christ.

It is our responsibility to lead our wives to the Bible, to ensure that they are having personal devotions, spending time praying and reading.  While we cannot force them into a relationship with Christ, we must afford our wives the opportunity to do so and encourage them in it.  So, guys, please take over the cooking and cleaning or childcare for an hour, to allow her time to meditate on the Word.  Or when the kids are asleep, if she spends all evening watching TV…If I am honest, I need to buck up on this one…I know you read this Hun, did you read the bible today? 🙂

My wife knows me inside and out, she knows my past sins, she knows my current struggles more than anyone else does…yet at the same time she should never doubt my love for her and that I am committed to serving her by imitating the headship and unconditional love of Christ.  What about you? Now to make it more personal, not only does your wife know about your weaknesses…you need to also be aware of your own sin and shortcomings. Likewise you need to be aware of your wife’s own struggles and weaknesses so that you can work with her in these, encourage and support her. “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

While we are aware of our sins…do not mock or belittle your wife. Do not make fun of her. Oh how I failed on this one in the past, and still sometimes without even realizing it.  I bet you do it as well. Even those little “insignificant jabs” you take at her leave a profoundly deep wound. Do you not realize that YOU are her head?  Do not lead  with sarcasm! Don not lead in anger! Do not attempt to punish her with your leadership! Treat her with respect and dignity. Lead her in the knowledge that you are her servant first, and her leader second.  As I write this, I cringe because I know my own sins in this regard.  So, for example, try not to start a sentence with, “I can’t believe that you did..” or “You always…” or “I can’t stand it when you…” Christ doesn’t speak to us this way, rather he speaks to us in love, never belittling us.  He knows our weaknesses  and rather than sarcastically making fun of us for our failures, he tells us to rely on His strength. See what he says to us:

Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-30

As Christ leads his church, so a husband is to lead his wife – with love and gentleness, treating her with dignity and respect. As husbands we need to imitate Christ in this aspect of our marriages.

Next Monday: Leading as a father.